Recently haven taken a first aid course, I have learned that a life-saving maneuver named after the doctor who invented it has (uncooly) been copyrighted against people using it's former name. Thanks, Doctor Heimlich!
The doctor claimed, previous to his copyright protection, that his maneuver doesn't just save from a choking death, but from heart attacks, drowning, pants crapping and zombieism. Think about it! Zombieism. Have you ever seen anyone try it on the big screen when faced with the flesh-eating undead? Maybe it's just somebody they ate.
So, I've decided to give humanity a helping hand and rename this life-saving act.
Choice #1 - A Food Cesarean
Choice #2 - Add Music and You're Going To Baptist Hell Twist
Choice #3 - The Non-Sexual Reach-Around
Just doing my part, people!
A Note On The Picture: I'm really glad they added food coming out of the dog's mouth, or else that picture is just plain wrong.
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